Still Single? How to Narrow Your Search for the Perfect Partner

by Dima Duzzen, Contributing Writer

You can’t just walk into a bar and expect to find the perfect mate at random. Believe me; I’ve tried. In order to save precious time and up your dating vibration, you need to know exactly what kind of person you’re looking for.

The following questionnaire will help you create a profile of your perfect partner. Then, with list in hand, you can hit the bars and weed out anyone who doesn’t match. That might be everybody in the bar but, hey, better to be alone than married to a person who thinks Hermès is a disease.

Have fun and good luck!

1. My ideal partner should be up to date on issues about:
1. U.S. foreign policy
2. Best Buy’s return policy
3. Organic farming practices
4. Snooki’s pregnancy
   
   
2. My ideal (male) partner’s appearance should closely resemble:
1. George Stephanopoulos
2. George Jetson
3. Boy George
4. George Foreman
   
   
3. My ideal (female) partner’s appearance should closely resemble:



"I, Mother Earth" by David Demaret

1. Reese Witherspoon
2. Princess Leia
3. Mother Earth
4. One of the Kardashians
   
   
4. Regarding money matters, my ideal partner should:
1. Have people who take care of such things for us
2. Be wisely invested and knowledgeable of all things financial
3. Be ready to sell it all and live off the grid
4. Be willing to go on reality TV to make a few bucks
   
   
5. My ideal partner and I would spend our evenings:
1. Watching the news while sipping dry martinis
2. At the dining room table, chatting via our iMacs
3. Shopping at Whole Foods
4. Out clubbing to the latest Rihanna hit
   
   
   
   
   
6. To my ideal partner, a successful “night out on the town” means:
1. Staying awake past 9:00 p.m.
2. Hosting a party on The Sims 2
3. Joining a rally for gay rights
4. Getting your picture in the tabloids
   
   
7. My ideal partner’s vision of our future includes:
1. Two careers, two kids, two dogs, two pre-nups
2. Cyber pets and time travel
3. Sustainable communities and adoption
4. Season tickets and hangovers
   
   

8. My ideal partner’s marriage proposal should include the word:
1. Forever
2. Twitter
3. Ecologically-sourced
4. Bling
   
9. The song that defines true love for my ideal partner is:
1. “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston
2. “IMpossible” by Figurine
3. “Peace Train” by Cat Stevens
4. “Put It On Me” by Ja Rule
   
   
10. My ideal partner’s exercise regimen should include:
1. Daily gym workouts
2. Sarcastic eyebrow lifts
3. Regular nature hikes
4. Steroids
   
   

11. A typical gift from my ideal partner would be:
1. Cartier
2. The latest techie gadget
3. Homemade pesto
4. Sex