Test Stress: What's the Point?

by Mo Tickleson, LMAO Staff Writer

Right about the end of January is when students everywhere undergo test stress while studying for their midterm examinations. Exams come on the heels of a nice holiday break and right in the middle of football playoffs, too. This concerns me and motivated me to take a look at some of the ideas behind America’s fascination with tests.

One website came up with some very plausible reasons for testing:


• To see if kids are learning. Depending on how kids do on the test, the teacher will know if he can move forward or if he must review some material. It just isn’t fair for Sally to be able to determine the length of a hypotenuse. We must repeat it until Josh can do it too. And both students are sure to remember it ten years down the road when it becomes useful – um, exactly how? 

• To see how well school is teaching you. This is important. If we didn’t use tests to check up on that, kids might graduate thinking that Christopher Columbus was the heroic discoverer of America and friend to the Native Americans.
• To assign grades. Grades give students something to strive for. They are a way of weeding out the “learning disabled” students and making sure they maintain that label throughout their school years. Grades are also a great way to establish a pecking order. That is, A students typically gravitate toward one another as do B students and so on. This allows an A student to unmask a potential friend as a C student and then reject that person for fear of having his GPA brought down.
• To keep you motivated. I’ll admit I was one to strive for the A. It made me look good; it made my parents happy. It did not, however, improve my social standing, which is perhaps a bigger concern for most students. Perhaps we should consider some alternative motivations for learning.

Which would most motivate you to learn English grammar?
a-    The desire to ace the test.
b-    Knowing it could lead to my dream job as a famous writer.
c-    Knowing the smart hottie in class would ask me out if I could conjugate a verb.
d-    Ain’t nothing better than me getting paid.

There are always those kids to whom everything comes easily. They always know the answer when called on. They ace a test without even studying. These kids are rarely well liked. But for the rest of us, tests can cause a lot of unpleasant sensations, including:

• Nervousness or anxiety
• Nausea, indigestion or diarrhea
• Racing heartbeat or trouble breathing
• Sweaty hands
• Butterflies in stomach

Interestingly, these same symptoms can be experienced from riding a rollercoaster. Which option do you prefer? Again I say, “Testing: what’s the point?”

Now, in the spirit of this article, here is a brief test. Please keep your eyes on your own paper, and use a No. 2 pencil only.

1. In 1905 French psychologist, Alfred Binet, invented the first IQ test to identify slow learners. What does IQ stand for?
   a.    Intelligence Questionable
   b.    Intelligence Quotient
   c.    Ignorance Quotient
   d.    I Quit

   
2. Which of the following is not a good test-taking tip?
   a.    Studying ahead of time.
   b.    Getting enough sleep the night before.
   c.    Reading the test through first.
   d.    Shouting “oh wow!” randomly during the test to startle the smart kids thus causing the scoring bell curve to even out.
   
3. According to PBS Frontline, in 1995-96 the average student spent 11 hours studying for the SAT. Assuming that A equals the length of the test and B equals the number of students across the country studying for it, how many teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
   
4. In 1926 the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT), invented by psychology professor Carl C. Brigham, was administered to high school students for the first time. Here is an actual sample question from that first test:
   

   Each group contains six words. Three of these are related to each other in some definite way. Indicate which three are thus MOST CLOSELY RELATED by inserting the numbers of these words in the spaces at the right.
   
   Example:  bean / carrot / potato / beet / lettuce / cabbage   2, 3 & 4 

   a. Cuba / Asia / Alaska / Africa / Russia / Australia
   b. gas / baby / burp / soda / belch / rude

5. True or False? The earliest record of standardized testing comes from China, where hopefuls for government jobs had to take exams testing their knowledge of Confucian philosophy and poetry.
   
6. Extra credit: The above facts seem to show that psychologists are interested in making kids feel dumb. Explain.


Answers:
1.    b
2.    d
3.    Huh?
4.    A. Asia, Africa, Australia / b. gas, burp, belch
5.    True
6.    This comment is completely out of line.

Bibliography  (We include these links to show that parts of our articles are actually true.)
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/sats/test/facts.html
http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/school/teststress/article4.html
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/sats/where/1901.html
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1947019,00.html
http://www.understandingprejudice.org/nativeiq/columbus.htm