This Month's Horoscope: GEMINI

by Palacia, Astrologer to the Stars and Beyond!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nobody has bigger problems than you this month, Gemini. The stars foresee lawsuits in your future, particularly those concerning the misappropriation of PTA funds. With Uranus in retrograde motion, it is not a good time to begin dieting. However, it is a fine time to start drinking. Effervescent prosecco is a good choice for Geminis.

Although Mars is rising in Neptune this month, do not be alarmed. No planets were actually harmed.

A lunar eclipse on June 4 gives you the chance to confront some longtime childhood fears that are, honestly, quite ridiculous. It won’t make you feel any better, but it gives you something to do while your partner is cheating on you. On a brighter note, a tragic hunting accident will claim the life of your employer. How you handle this will determine the next five years of your life. No pressure, though.

Not a Gemini? Good for you. Check the daily horoscope for all other signs here.

Famous Geminis: Johnny Depp, Joan Collins, Queen Victoria, Salman Rushdie, Nicole Kidman, Dean Martin, Boy George, Joe Montana, Alanis Morissette, Maurice Sendak, Marilyn Monroe, Palacia

Your Horoscope in 2012: AQUARIUS

by Palacia, Astrologer to the Stars and Beyond!

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18):
Jupiter spends the first half of the year in your home and family sector, so this is the time to focus on mending family relationships and getting that strange mole checked out. As an Aquarius, you may be most likely to save the world but tend to forget you must save yourself first.

When Jupiter enters your romance and pleasure sector in June, look out! You will have many suitors vying for your affections. Do treat them with some respect. You Aquarians like to keep your options open, but this is a chance to venture beyond that unemotional dark side. At the very least, keep it under wraps until somebody better comes along. Unfortunately, next week's Valentine's Day is a lost cause for you since Jupiter does not move sectors until June. But, hey, Independence Day will be full of fireworks!

The total solar eclipse in November in your career sector will boost your professional status. This, of course, will only add to your elitist Aquarian reputation but you can overcome that by wowing everyone with your latest invention. Beware, however, when Neptune moves into your money sector. It might cause you to spend your way to financial ruin. (You did remember to patent that invention, right?)

Overall, 2012 is your year to shine, darling! After the past few years of gestation, you’re ready to show the world that Aquarians are more than just unpredictable, cranky hippies. Go for it!

Not an Aquarius? Too bad, but you can check the daily horoscope for all signs here.

Some famous Aquarians: Abraham Lincoln, Yoko Ono, John Travolta, Charles Darwin, Jennifer Aniston, Wolfgang Mozart, Virginia Woolf, Paul Newman, Babe Ruth, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey, Justin Timberlake, Grunty McBunty