The Health Corner with Dr. Bill Loney: FUN WITH PHOBIAS

Dr. Bill Loney is not a licensed medical doctor. He has studied in primitive cultures all over the world and dispenses advice and remedies from the information he has gathered over many years. In this column, he focuses on common questions received about phobias.

Dr. Bill Loney,

My wife has social phobia. I am embarrassed to explain this to others when we can’t attend a party or have to suddenly leave the supermarket. Am I alone in this? Are there other such weirdos out there?

Thanks,

Buddy

Dear Buddy,

More weird phobias

You and your wife are not alone! About 15 million Americans suffer from some form of social phobia from public speaking to eating in front of others to anxiety when walking on a crowded street. There’s nothing weird about it. You want weird? Check out these phobias:

• Cacophobia – Fear of ugliness. This is especially rampant in Hollywood and college sororities.
• Epistemophobia – Fear of knowledge. Could explain the high rate of stupid people in America.
• Vestiophobia – Fear of clothing. This phobia particularly affects saggy, European middle-aged men.
• Nephophobia - Fear of clouds. Frankly, I can’t believe that enough people suffer from this that they had to create a name for it. If you’re really bored, view this mini documentary of a man with nephophobia.

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Dr. Bill Loney,

I am deathly scared of spiders. Can you tell me what creatures inspire the most fright?

Signed,

Arachnophobic

Dear Arachnophobic,

The top fright-inspiring creatures (in no particular order) are: spiders, snakes, dogs, rats and Gonzo.

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Dear Bill Loney,

Do famous people ever get scared?

Joe Normal

Dear Joe,

Certainly they do. And because they are in the spotlight, celebrity fears are often magnified. George Washington, for instance, had taphephobia or the fear of being buried alive. He even specified that his body be left alone for several days after his death in case he wasn’t quite dead.

Woody Allen suffers from panophobia

Woody Allen suffers from panophobia (fear of everything) including heights, bright colors, animals, award ceremonies, elevators and peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth.

Alfred Hitchcock had an intense fear of eggs (ovophobia). Oprah Winfrey fears gum chewing, and even banned it from her television studio.

One of the strangest phobias might be Billy Bob Thornton’s fear of antique furniture (anything made before the 1950s). You won’t catch him filming a period piece.

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Dear Bill Loney,

Is it crazy that I fear going to doctors more than death?

Signed,
Crazy

Dear Crazy,

You are simply human. On most lists of People’s Top Fears, death usually ranks about 5^th or sometimes not at all. 

What beats out death? Fear of:

Roy Sullivan hit by lightning 7 times

• Public speaking
• Flying
• Heights
• Darkness
• Thunder and lightning
• Failure
• Dentists
• Commitment 

Yet, these things do not really address the core fear. What are people actually afraid of in each category?

• Making an ass out of themselves
• Crashing (hence, death, or severe mangling)
• Falling (again, death, or severe mangling)
• Being attacked by monsters
• Being struck by lightning (death, or severe frying)
• Making an ass out of themselves
• Pain
• Being trapped and suffocated (again, death)